The Platypus, my Opinions and Me 2

I wrote this in response to a friend who posted a blog entry about heroes a few days ago:

Too easy.
Luthor. Lex Luthor.

Was there ever any doubt. For over 70 years, he's successfully been a pain in not just Superman's side, but the sides of just about every major hero in the DCU. He's the number one threat to Superman; more than Brainiac, more than Darkseid, more than Doosmday. In fact, if you go down Superman's rogues gallery, he's at the top of the list. Which is really amazing considering the fact that he has NO super powers whatsoever! I would even put him higher than most of the villains in Marvel!

"But surely Tony, there must be at least one villain that is greater than Lex Luthor?", you (and by you I mean, "you", my lone, loyal fan!) may be asking your computer screen. Nope. Not a one. I'll run down the big dogs:

Darkseid just wants the answer to the Anti-Life Equation and to rule the universe. Darkseid's problem is that he hasn't broken down his goal into smaller, manageable pieces. I mean, c'mon, an equation that can actually counter life? Then, the universe? Gotta break that goal down, chief! Start with some smaller planets and then work your way up! This is probably why he keeps failing at both. Brianiac wants to gather ALL of Earth's info and when he's done, he wants to destroy the Earth. Period. So, for starters, if Supes isn't around, Brainiac's new enemy is Lex Luthor! 'Cause Luthor can't rule over Earth if the Earth is no more. And generally, when Supes is around, he (and often times with the help of the JLA), stops Brainiac before he can get started with the whole gathering-all-the-info-on-the-planet-and-destroying-it agenda! Black Adam? Professor Zoom? Sinestro? Bizarro? Tough, but eventually Supes would get the better of all of them and there go their plans for global domination or any other plan those aforementioned bozos have cooked up! Doomsday? Who the hell is he? So he beat Superman to death. And? He's currently drawing a breath, so that whole death thing didn't stick!

Luthor even eclipses the villains of Marvel.

Reed Richards is the smartest man in the Marvel Universe. Dr. Strange is the most powerful human sorcerer in the Marvel Universe. The second smartest man and the second most powerful human sorcerer in the Marvel Universe is the same guy: Dr. Doom! Doom is a sorcerer and a stinking genius, but if you removed his magical capabilities, he'd be stuck with his intelligence and I don't think that that would've been enough for him to come close to Luthor; he's good, but not "Luthor good"! Magneto can control metal. Done! Take his mutant ability away and he'd just be an angry white dude who'd probably start hating himself for being a homo-sapien! The Green Goblin drank Goblin serum to enhance his strength, speed and agility. Still, no dice. Spidey STILL kicked his green ugly keister all over New York City! Recently Normie Osborn stepped up his game and tried to take over the Marvel Universe, but he failed. Partly because he's certifiable, Luthor doesn't have that problem. Galactus? Yeah, sure. He wants to do suck the planet dry ala Brainiac, except instead of info, he wants to suck Earth dry much like an incubus. Luthor would stop him the same way that Reed Richards stops him. And believe you me, it's not the other 3, I mean 2 members of the FF! With Galactus, it always comes down to Reed figuring out a way to stop Galactus; Luthor would do the same thing, then he'd kill Galactus, perform an autopsy on him, figure out how his power works then use it on Supes. Of course, the weapon made of Galactus leavins would be awesome, but he did something to Supes that was down right ingenious!

He became president.

Superman IS truth, justice and the American way! What happens when your archenemy, is the President of the United States? What happens when your archenemy is your boss??? Best story in years! Think about all of the photo-ops Supes had to stand through, gritting his super-teeth together, trying his damnedest not to crush Luthor's hand like a potato chip. Imagine, Lex Luthor, elected official. Approval ratings through the roof! And way above the White orbit...there's Superman. Sitting on a chunk of rock thinking "I could knock off a chunk of this rock and hurl it right at the White House and know one would be the wiser, but I don't kill, rumblerumblerazzlefrazzleblastedmoralfiberbleepbleepbleep!!!"

Freakin' brilliant!!!

Posted By Tony to my time on terra firma at 1/27/2011 08:16:00 PM